Ten Ways To Know You Are Following Your Spouse's Car
The car shoots out into traffic, leaving you no clear opening for the next 10 cars.
The car runs a yellow light and you are stuck with the red.
You decide the number of cars between you is the number of weeks before you have sex again.
You start to count how many times the car drifts across the center line, and also the shoulder.
You find yourself estimating how closely the car is tailgating the person in front of them.
You mentally shout, "Stop tailgating!"
The car changes lanes and there's no room for you to do the same.
You are embarrassed that the car stays in the passing lane, even though it's causing a backup.
You shout out loud, "Get over, some one's trying to pass," but nothing happens.
As soon as you can, you step on the gas and pass the car to demonstrate how to drive correctly.