Maripat Robison

Maripat Robison
HEAVILY RETOUCHED PHOTO

Aug 20, 2013

Male Refrigerator Blindness







One day when John and I were dating, we were hanging out at his house and I was a little hungry. Later, I realized:

A.   Male Refrigerator Blindness is real

B.   Geeks are not immune to this 

C.   Yes, this is sexist




John, I’m hungry - got anything to eat in your fridge?
I don't know - you want me to look?
Uh huh.
SILENCE
Hey, can you look at this?
Look at what?
I had some lettuce in here, but I can’t find it now.
Did you eat it?
I don’t think so.
Maybe somebody else ate it?
Who would eat lettuce?
Lots of people eat lettuce.
You think they’d go for the chocolate milk first.
You have chocolate milk?
No.
Oh.
I think the lettuce has changed.
Changed?
Yeah, it got smaller.
What do you mean?
It’s taking up less space now.
Less space?
Yeah, come look.
PAUSE
OK, What do you have in here?
I have some corn.
Eww, this isn’t good anymore, bring me the trash.
What about these onions?
God! They’re dripping! Get the trash!
These apples are wrinkled; do you think they’re still good?
Those are NOT apples.
Yes, they are.
Never mind. Do you have any gloves?
For what?
I’m not touching this stuff.
Here! Carrots!
That looks like a bag of hair.
It's a few roots, they just get scraped off, right? 
Are you kidding?
Did you find the lettuce?
No, just this bag of…gross.
What – it shrunk, didn’t it?
No, it liquefied.
Didn’t I tell you it changed? Should we throw it out?
We?
Well, you’re holding it.
Was this just a ploy to get me to clean your fridge?
I’ll be glad when we’re married.
I’ll bet you will.

3 comments :

  1. Are those wax beans from your garden in the photo next to the War Pug? Beautiful. Good thing they are going in a fridge that you will tend, Maripat, not left up to John to monitor. (Bridgit)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, wax beans, something that did well being neglected, ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your posts -- especially the conversations with your husband. It helps me realize that my husband isn't intentionally starting a game of 20 questions when I ask him simple questions.

    "When will you be ready to leave?"
    "After I test the (insert name of computer program here)."
    "How long will that take?"
    "It depends on if it works or not."
    "Can you give me an estimate of how long it will take?"
    "Not really."
    "Do you think it will take less than an hour, less than 4 hours, or 8 hours or more?"
    "Probably about 20 minutes."

    Thank you for your posts! I love them.

    ReplyDelete

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