I've just made a horrible discovery about myself.
Since I married John and started hanging out with the Aspergers crowd, I've gotten used to being maybe the 150th smartest person in a room of 150 people. It's no big deal, even though I started out with such promise, skipping the 3rd grade and all. I know that's a sad intellectual claim to fame, but I can admit that I don't have the brainpower my mate has. So what if I'm not good at puzzles, pattern recognition, or logic tests? I'm a great speller: *ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM*.
It used to be that when I was alone in the room, I was the smartest in the room. Really, really smart.
I'm sorry to say that's now been spoiled for me as well. You might know what I'm talking about. It's that horrible CAPTCHA test I have to keep taking over and over to prove my intelligence is not artificial. I fail it all the time.
The first time it happened, I was outraged. I had just written a series of witty and insightful remarks countering an imbecilic post about how honesty is important in sex (wait till you are 50+ standing naked in front of a window at 8 am, and we'll see how you feel about sexual honesty then, Zach Rosenberg) and because I couldn't find a way to replicate those squirmy letters, I wasn't able to leave my comment.
Why? Why was I so bad at these? Unwilling to admit that I had been skating by for years because I could surreptitiously check definitions on my iPhone behind my napkin at the dinner table, I went right to the source...Google Scholar...where I found this: http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/3-540-39200-9_18#page-8
Finally, an explanation! After reading this fascinating chapter, I understand CAPTCHAs, and I don't have to add failing Turing tests to my list of other insecurities (fatness, wrinkles, something-in-my-nose, shortness, frumpiness, not-being-funny). And if I ever do fail again, I have another acronym: Cannot Actually Print The Crap Here Accurately, so I won't have to feel too bad about being artificially intelligent, either.
TAKE THE TEST - ARE YOU ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT?