Male Refrigerator Blindness

One day when John and I were dating, we were hanging out at his house and I was a little hungry. Later, I realized:

A.   Male Refrigerator Blindness is real

B.   Geeks are not immune to this 

C.   Yes, this is sexist




John, I’m hungry - got anything to eat in your fridge?

I don't know - you want me to look?

Uh huh.

SILENCE

Hey, can you look at this?

Look at what?

I had some lettuce in here, but I can’t find it now.

Did you eat it?

I don’t think so.

Maybe somebody else ate it?

Who would eat lettuce?

Lots of people eat lettuce.

You think they’d go for the chocolate milk first.

You have chocolate milk?

No.

Oh.

I think the lettuce has changed.

Changed?

Yeah, it got smaller.

What do you mean?

It’s taking up less space now.

Less space?

Yeah, come look.

PAUSE

OK, What do you have in here?

I have some corn.

Eww, this isn’t good anymore, bring me the trash.

What about these onions?

God! They’re dripping! Get the trash!

These apples are wrinkled; do you think they’re still good?

Those are NOT apples.

Yes, they are.

Never mind. Do you have any gloves?

For what?

I’m not touching this stuff.

Here! Carrots!

That looks like a bag of hair.

It's a few roots, they just get scraped off, right? 

Are you kidding?

Did you find the lettuce?

No, just this bag of…gross.

What – it shrunk, didn’t it?

No, it liquefied.

Didn’t I tell you it changed? Should we throw it out?

We?

Well, you’re holding it.

Was this just a ploy to get me to clean your fridge?

I’ll be glad when we’re married.

I’ll bet you will.